Hello friends!
If you’ve read my previous blog posts, you know a little or a lot about the concept of my work and my personal experience with psychedelics and how magic mushrooms and LSD jump started my spiritual journey.
The installation I envisioned came to life with the help of a tiny, square piece of paper, that I let marinate underneath my tongue.
Feeling the tingly sensations drive its way up my spine and expanding the back of my brain. Shaking my entire body into ecstasy and elevating my pineal gland.
& since my first experience with LSD, my entire thought process has evolved into its own creature.
There’s this stigma around psychedelics that they are sooo bad because they will turn you “insane.”
What really is insanity, anyway?
The beauty of psychedelics is that it opens your perception and heightens your awareness to the subtleties of your deepest fears.
It’s like one tiny square of LSD or an eight of mushrooms, can open your consciousness SO high, as if you’ve spent the last 50 years meditating non-stop.
It is all about the mind and how to explore the depth of your fears and what exactly is embedded within your mind. your being.
I have plenty of fears. and when I say plenty, I mean plenty.
An entire forest of fears! – however, what I also practice is discipline.
And when taking psychedelics, it is extremely important to practice discipline.
Because if discipline doesn’t exist in your vocabulary, your fears will certainly take control of you and as a result, make you INSANE.
Nonetheless, in my most recent blog post, I mentioned how my spiritual journey has taken me into immense healing.
and as a result, I’ve been struggling with consistent acne for about a year now. It seemed like at one point, it only got worse and worse and worse the more I focused on getting rid of it.
AND THATS INSANITY.
Focusing on your anxieties and becoming trapped within your thoughts.
Entangling yourself into a deeper mess and furthering the potential for your fears to dominate.
Recently, I am telling myself the opposite. That I don’t have acne and so I am slowly seeing improvement.
But, as you can see, it’s all about how much discipline you have over the negative thoughts that run through that nogin of yours!
No discipline, no sanity.
Regardless of the trauma I faced as a child, I do not have an excuse to allow my thoughts to take control of my consciousness.
This is why painting and exploring mental illness is so important to me.
My sister passed away from an overdose at 22 and was diagnosed with bipolar as an early teenager.
I have countless memories of both her maniac and depressive states of mind.
& growing up as a teenager myself, I almost wanted to be like her. I wanted to be bipolar.
It was like a safe place. Knowing there was something “wrong” with me. An excuse, for others to take my breakdowns seriously, and a way for me to manipulate others to feel bad for me.
It’s exactly that, an excuse…. now the word excuse is not the best word to use when describing mental illness. But, it is the best word to use when you choose to stay in your negative thought patterns without any effort to heal!!
WHAT IF, mental illness doesn’t have to be a permanent illness? What if it’s not even an illness?
WHAT IF, it’s a way for our Soul to communicate with us? To tell us what we need to work on.
Through my art practice, I desire to make paintings and installations that “mentally ill,” people can relate to.
AND FOR ME, a mentally ill person is just closer to their spiritual being than the common group of people. They feel their emotions to a larger extent compared to a “normal” person.
Mental illness is not an illness. It is not a bad thing.
WHAT IS A BAD THING, is when our society tells us we are crazy for having split personalities or seeing God.
If anything, OUR SOCIETY IS F***** mentally ill.
Maybe someone has split personalities because they have a lot of heavy turmoil to deal with? and maybe someone is delusion because they aren’t ready to accept reality? and so forth.
SO, why are we not allowing human beings to heal from their traumas and instead we prescribe “medicine” that pushes the issue even further into our subconscious.
My own spiritual healing is allowing me to heal my deepest fears. It’s allowing me to see life through the lens of God.
A higher perspective on what it means to be a human being.
Human beings are healers. We are creative beings. and when we ignore our creative sparks, we ignore being alive.
Diagnosing someone with a mental illness and telling them they HAVE to deal with this illness for the rest of their lives, is DENYING THEM TO FEEL ALIVE.
I think the next best move, as a society, is to start healing with plants. With what Earth has given us, naturally.
and it is Consciousness.
If magic mushrooms expand one’s perception of being, then we need to listen to what Earth is giving us.
After all, the human DNA is very similar to that of a mushroom…
& maybe I am just an insane painter. But I am confident in what I say and believe.
AND. I believe that society is handling reality the wrong way.
AND.
maybe one day my paintings can speak for themselves, globally.
If you’ve got to the end of this blog post, thank you.
Thank you for allowing a new, yet crazy, perception of mental illness to embed in your subconscious.
Mental illness doesn’t have to exist. Ignorance to our Soul’s calling, however, does exist.
With much love,
Pamela