Jungle Mind: Part 2

Hello Fellow Creative!

While painting the second part of my new series Jungle Mind, I came to many realizations about how my work is evolving and my process as a painter.

First and foremost, I paint based on my experiences!

Meaning, I try to be in the present moment at all times and absorb my surroundings as much as possible!

As if I am a human sponge 🙂 x 

For example…

While in Palenque, Mexico, I meditated in front of gigantic gorgeous jungle trees – I observed every physical aspect of them, and inhaled the energy they shot out.

So, when I am in the studio painting or making any type of work;

I put myself back in the moment of complete analyzation and that’s what when I get in the zone!

It’s almost like using a photographic memory or muscle memory to create a composition and mix irresistible colors. 

With that said, as I meditate on my most recent work;

I see fragments of reality and paint moving swiftly as if the paint itself has anxiety, running and trying to get somewhere… an infinite escape from yourself where there is no end point.

Is this how it feels when your mind suddenly gets taken over by a mental illness? Or is this what happens when you wake up one day feeling more in tune with your spirituality?

I myself don’t suffer with a severe mental illness, aside from being very anxious.

& my Hot Yoga practice allows me to heal my anxious thoughts when they reappear… which is my own spiritual journey.

However, I have witnessed others very close to me who are mentally unstable and are stuck.

This DOES NOT mean the person is crazy.

It just means that the person keeps running from their mind, not realizing that the key to a higher consciousness is to just BE and sit through your untamed mind.

When you feel like you’ve lost touch with reality, it means that a spiritual awakening is happening and it’s something you have to dig through.

It doesn’t come easy.

You have to BREAK apart your mind to build it back up, as I mentioned in my previous blog post.

I also mentioned that I’ve taken LSD multiple times. Resulting the huge installation I did for my BFA thesis.

LSD allowed me to see my surroundings with more clarity..

BUT, mushrooms allowed me to DIG into my spirituality. Something I am eternally grateful for. When taking psychedelics, it is all about mind control. 

I’ve had a pretty bad trip while taking them in Austin, Texas. & then I realized it was over and it was only a temporary feeling.

WHICH IS ALL OF LIFE. A TEMPORARY FEELING.

I didn’t hallucinate demons and the floor wasn’t melting. I was only extremely suicidal and it was terrifying.

HOWEVER, it was something I had to get over in my mind. It was a feeling I always had as a teenager that I couldn’t escape. After my sister passed away it felt like my childhood fell apart and I grew up feeling very alone.

So, when I did shrooms in the Jungle (about a month after my trip in Austin), I no longer felt mentally blocked, and it almost felt like all of sudden,

my mind finally felt calm…

I was finally able to breathe in the Now, and just be one with the Universal energy.

Nonetheless, not everyone can have a so called “bad” trip and just keep moving forward.

& not everyone can peel their mind apart without going through a psychosis.

I am NOT saying that I was perfect throughout the process of peeling my mental blocks away.

I will say it again, IT IS NOT AN EASY PROCESS. But it is totally worth it!

& I have seen the opposite reaction with psychedelics and spirituality… Where the ego gets in the way and someone you thought was mentally strong, gets defeated by their spiritual awakening

or doesn’t know how to handle it.

Spirituality doesn’t evolve because you want it to. It evolves spontaneously and most of the time, you’re like HOLY FUCK, what is happening to me?

Like really?

& if you are still attached to the “I,” then you are not only spiritually trapped in your own mind but you sound crazy to the people around you.

You feel powerful, almost as if you are God himself.

Missing the whole point of what a spiritual awakening is all about.

When you have a higher consciousness, you now have the responsibility of caring for others more than yourself.

In Buddhist philosophy, this is called Nirvana.

Or the process of being an enlightened being and showing compassion to ALL sentient beings and not only trying to better yourself.

Yes, you do have a Godlike consciousness…

BUT, not God in terms of Western Ideology.

“God” in terms of being one with the Universal energy. We are ALL just energy. And if you vibrate on a higher frequency, it doesn’t mean you are more powerful.

It means YOU ARE NOW capable of healing others.

AND, this is where my interest in mental illness and spirituality comes into play.

We, as a society need to STOP being afraid of being spiritually attuned just because there is a stigma that hippies are drug addicts, dropouts and clinically insane.

DO NOT get me wrong, I am not a psychedelic promoter and it is 100% possible to become spiritually awakened without the help of psychedelics.

What I am advocating for, is if psychedelics are known to induce mental illness in Western society,

then why are psychedelics a part of the spiritual journey in countries outside of the U.S.?

When taking LSD or shrooms for the sole purpose of understanding your higher self,  you begin to understand why cultures who are surrounded by nature are more spiritually awakened. 

Then what is mental illness exactly?

& why is psychedelics a Schedule I drug?

What is our society hiding and taking away from us?

We are ALL spiritual beings, whether or not you are aware of it.

& I’ve noticed that the more spiritual you are, the more sensitive you are to the vibrations and energies of other people.

We belong with Nature and diagnosing someone with a mental illness is a way for society to spiritually trap us and keep us in that state of confusion and disorganization.

BECAUSE, once you get past that thin line of either being spiritually awakened or dead shit crazy, no one can interfere with your higher self.

Instead of us locking up people in asylums, we should offer people who are mentally lost spiritual retreats surrounded by Nature.

& I am sure our society will be much different if we turn mental hospitals into a place where you can spiritually heal yourself!!!

x

Thank you for reading this weeks blog post!

You can see the painting, Jungle Mind: Part 2 on my Instagram.

The more you observe my paintings, the more you can feel the energy of my thoughts within them.

My paintings ARE the mind itself.

Transitioning, hallucinating, and becoming!  

Yours Truly,

Pamela